Let it go

So I tend to be a perfectionist (or OCD) sometimes, or else I just really like things done my way. You know...the right way. It can be so difficult to let my son learn his own way of doing things and even more difficult to accept them as "ok". I'm really not selfish and bossy, but somehow it got into my mind that certain things are to be done certain ways and it is very hard to let that go.

For example, the other day he replaced the toilet paper in the bathroom. I should have been completely ecstatic that he did this all on his own without being asked! And I was....except that the toilet paper wasn't coming over the top of the roll. It took ALL of my willpower not to "fix" it. I didn't want to squash his excitement that he did it all by himself by telling him he did it "wrong". Who knows, he may not have noticed if I changed it, but I didn't want to take that risk so I handled it until the next roll change. Phew!

Last night he asked if we could eat outside, the weather was beautiful and it was a perfect evening to spend together on the deck. He was so excited I said "yes" that he immediately started setting up. We recently moved and the deck chairs were still in the garage, so he used the one dirty outside chair that I had been using for gardening and then he went in and grabbed a bar stool for himself. Then he set up the TV trays and got dishes and coffee cups to drink out of. He was so excited. I bit my tongue and we had the best outside meal ever! We laughed and joked and had a great time just being together. Turns out, it doesn't matter if things are just right or not.

Sometimes, as hard as it is, the best thing to do is just take a deep breath and let it go. :)

Perfection

If only all days could be like today.

Tanner and I went on a bike ride this afternoon. The weather was absolutely perfect. The sun was shining brightly and the sky was the most beautiful blue. The breeze was sweet smelling and felt so gentle across my face. Families were everywhere enjoying the loveliness of the day.

Perfection. And I'm thankful for it.

Beginnings

So I've been reading a lot of blogs lately and have been inspired to start one of my own. I'm not sure yet exactly how I'll use it but I've got so much that I'd like to say. Perhaps I'll just use it as a journal, but I think I'd like to share some of my thoughts with others. Especially since I lost Jerry, I don't have him to share my thoughts and experiences with.

Big things have been happening in my heart lately and I feel like I'm changing and discovering something new about myself each and every day. God is touching my heart and showing me new things all the time. I'm seeing the world in a whole new light. Some times, I see the great beauty that God has blessed us with and I am so thankful. Other times, I see the brokenness of the world and feel such great sorrow. What I am learning through everything that I have experienced over the past, well 38 years, is that there is no time for inaction.

I've spent a lot of my life paralyzed by fear, lack of self-confidence and just plain old laziness. No more. Life is for living and there is more to it than just making our own lives comfortable.

I hope you will join me in my journey of discovery. I'm excited and scared all at the same time. The one one thing I know is that God is on my side and with Him all things are possible. :)