AFRAID

AFRAID- 5 MINUTE FRIDAY

It's Friday (YAY!) and I'm linking up with LisaJo Baker for 5 Minute Fridays.

It's a wonderful writing exercise and an even better community! Come join us and be blessed!

This weeks word is "AFRAID."

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.

2. Link back here and invite others to join in.  

3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community.


Afraid. Boy this is a tough one. I'd rather not admit that I've lived most of my life afraid.

Afraid people won't like me.
Afraid I won't be "good enough."
Afraid of disease.
Afraid of trying new things.
Afraid of failure.
Afraid of success.
Afraid of relationships.



......Afraid of God.

It chokes me up just to type the words. It's no coincidence that this weeks word is afraid. Just this week as I was doing a discipleship study with a dear friend, God brought this fear to my attention.

We were studying the Holy Spirit. Our memory verse was:

"But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all of Judea and Sumaria and to the ends of the earth." 

~Acts 1:8

As we were talking it through, my difficulty in relating to the Holy Spirit, God gave me the revelation that I have been scared of the power that comes with the Holy Spirit.

Ouch. That one stung a bit, I have to admit. Scared of letting God do His good work in and through me.

But, knowing is half the battle. Now my prayer is that I will be released from this fear so that I can fully embrace all that He has for me.

"For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father."

 ~Romans 8:15

 P.s....I was really afraid to write this post. All week I was thinking about how I could share this. Apparently God really wanted me to share this since He had LisaJo pick "Afraid" as this weeks topic. :)

AGAIN

AGAIN - 5 MINUTE FRIDAY

It's Friday (YAY!) and I'm linking up with LisaJo Baker for 5 Minute Fridays. It's a wonderful writing exercise and an even better community! Come join us and be blessed! This weeks word is "Again."

Here are the "rules":

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.


2. Link back here and invite others to join in.

3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..



Again.........

I drag myself out of bed, again.
I pick out his clothes and go wake him up, my sweet son.
I tell him to comb his hair and brush his teeth.....again. (and again and again!)
I pull myself together and hopefully remember to brush my own teeth.
I go to work, make the money to pay the bills and put the food on the table.
I run home and settle into the hectic evening.
I make dinner, do laundry, pick up the house.....again.
We struggle through homework and practice the spelling words.
We splash through bath time and get everything ready for morning, again.

He asks me to tuck him in and give him another kiss and hug.
I snuggle in and cuddle him and love him.
I am so blessed that I get to do it again.
I love this boy of mine more than any words and I'd do it all again
Every. single. minute.

Sometimes We all need a miracle

On my way to work this morning, I heard this song:

I Need a Miracle by Third Day

I've heard this song countless times, but for some reason this morning, it went straight to my heart. 

In my car, on my way to work, tears flowing, heart so broken and so full at the same time. 

Someone I barely know (but is a sister in Jesus) is asking prayer for her sister in a desperate situation. 

The kind of situation where Jesus is the ONLY solution. 

It's Him or nothing.

I've been praying for a miracle. 

Sometimes, we all need a miracle.

Cherished-Five Minute Friday

Joining LisaJoBaker today for Five Minute Friday!

Here's the skinny:

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking


2. Link back here and invite others to join in.

3. Please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. That is like the one rule we all really care about. For reals.

Cherished

When I first saw the word "cherished" in my email this morning as the prompt for FMF, the first thing that came to my mind was a documentary I watched last week called Finger of God. At the very end they were praying for a homeless man and the narrator was wondering aloud "why him? why this homeless man?" He then had the revelation of God's love for this man. That he was a prince, a child of the king. I was undone. We are all the same, children of God and we are cherished by Him. This still goes straight to my heart.

Then I read LisaJo's post and a couple of others that come to my email. I usually try not to do this so that I won't be swayed in what I write. But I read them anyway. Then I cried. Tears at work, always fun. But their posts about being loved by their husbands and cherishing them. Oh, how I miss my husband. I miss holding hands and falling asleep together. I miss looking into his eyes and seeing how he cherished me. I miss being a wife. I miss him and I cherish the memories the I have, tucked away in my heart.


(For those that don't know me, Jerry went home to Jesus Sept. 30, 2011 after a year and a half battle with pancreatic cancer.)

 This was our last "date". A riverboat ride for his birthday about 3 weeks before he passed away.

 This was taken during our God-given roadtrip. A family vacation in Aug. 2011.

Our first Christmas together :)

Our Wedding <3>

Community inRL

I'm the kind of person who likes to be alone. I'm perfectly fine to be home alone with my son, reading a book while he plays. I get plenty of interaction through social media. I go to church on Sunday mornings and fellowship then.

It's just who I am.

Except that it's not who I am.

These are just some of the lies that I've been telling myself so that I could avoid the fear involved in truly opening up my life and letting people in. The fear involved in being part of a community. The fear that no one will like me, that I will let other people down.

The truth is....I come alive around people! I love hearing their stories and telling my own! It is inspiring to see how God is working through others. Community is a beautiful thing!

Over the last couple of years God has slowly been introducing me to community. After my husband passed, I was alone in my free time. Throughout his illness and passing God started building community for me. People began bringing us meals, sending cards, taking Jerry to appointments when I couldn't, stopping over for visits. When he went home to be with Jesus, so many people were there to support us. I know without even a shadow of a doubt that it was the prayers of so many that got us through this time.

When I bought my townhouse 6 months ago, people I didn't even know offered to help me move. My community was growing. God was moving in my life. He prompted me to invite one of the women to dinner, despite my fear. I just really wanted to be friends with her. Immediately we developed a beautiful friendship. God has blessed me so richly through her!

Over the last couple of months He has brought me into a book study with women in my church that has opened even more doors for community and friendship. It is so amazing how He works.

So, when I started getting the emails about the (in)Courage/(in)RL conference/meetup happening in April, my heart was filled with desire to be involved (and fear of the unknown). Of course, I was sure that there wouldn't be any local meet-ups. So when registration opened up yesterday I was so beyond excited to see that there WAS a local group and not only that, but it had the highest registration!! God is good!

I registered and was so blessed just by registering. My heart was full! I've already been able to connect with several of the women by attending my first Twitter Party! Amazing! I can't wait to find out what God has in store for us!

If you would like to know more about the (in)RL event, click here! It's FREE and sure to be amazing!

Opportunity

 Today I am linking up with Lisa-Jo Baker for.....

 

The "rules":
1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..

This weeks topic is OPPORTUNITY!

GO!

It's a new year, a fresh start, an opportunity to begin again. 

This week I've been thinking a lot about this.  I've been contemplating the ultimate opportunity that we've been given in Jesus. His death and resurrection give us a fresh start in Him. We have an opportunity to begin again. We are forgiven and washed clean of our sins. So this new year, I am thankful for Jesus and the opportunity that He has given us. 

What a wonderful gift! The chance to start over, a new life in Christ. 

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

                                                                                                              2 Corinthians 5:17

My prayer for this year is that we grab hold of the opportunity that we've been given in Christ and take full advantage of the gift of a new life. 

Blessed

This Christmas season has been different than in previous years.

Everything about it has been such a blessing. Throughout the season I've been overwhelmed by the reality of what Christmas is truly about. For the first time, it was more than a story about a baby in a manger. Every time I think about it, read a scripture, hear a carol. I am awestruck at the enormity of it all. God sent His son, as a real life baby, to save me (and you).

I am so incredibly thankful for Jesus and his sacrifice for me, for us.

Then to think of His name.

Emmanuel.

God with us.

God with us.

To even think of it is overwhelming and fills me with such gratitude.

This past year has been a time of learning to trust God with everything. My broken heart, my son and his broken heart, finances, family, friends, cars, houses, all of it. Giving it to Him. An amazing thing happens when you finally learn to trust God. He is there for you. All the time. Turns out He has been there the whole time, I just wasn't paying attention. He is always with us, just as His name says. Emmanuel. God with us.

He is there, waiting for us to turn to Him. When we do, wonderful things happen. There is joy that comes with knowing Jesus that is indescribable. A calmness that comes from knowing that the creator of the heavens and earth is with you. Knowing that, in the end, everything will be ok (better than ok actually!) no matter how hard it seems at the moment. We can be assured of this through His name. Emmanuel. God with us.