Friendship

Over the past several years (or more...geez time flies!) I've mostly isolated myself. I have my BEST friend but she lives far away. As for friends that live in the same state as me, I've had none. I made very poor choices in my life and ended up being hurt over and over (and over) by people who claimed to be my friends. I knew they weren't trustworthy (frankly, there were times I wasn't a very good friend either) but I couldn't help but see the good in people and believe the best about them. Once I turned my life around (or more accurately, God turned my life around for me) and removed myself from these circumstances and these people, I was left with no one that I could trust. Not even myself. I got to the point that I was afraid to have a friend, because I was sure that I would pick someone that would betray me.

Then I met my husband and he filled that void. He was my best friend, my confidante, my everything. I got used to having someone to talk to and to trust with my feelings. Then I lost him. I was left alone again on a day to day basis. I still had my best friend (and always will!). But not having someone to call to come over and eat ice cream on a whim is lonely.

It's not like I was alone all the time. I had acquaintances from church who I considered friends, but we didn't socialize or talk on a regular basis. SO many people were there for me, but I wasn't ready to let them in. Not all the way, anyway. Throughout the couple of years going through cancer with my husband and his passing, God was showing me all of the people that cared for me. He was showing me how much HE cared for me through all of these people. People I didn't think even knew who I was. People I didn't know.

It's been a year now since his passing and some of these relationships have developed into true friendships, but still no friends that I had regular relationship with. Then one day I moved. A girl from church that I've always admired, but never really talked to much, volunteered to help me move. I was so touched. We spent only a little time together that day, but I felt so drawn to her. I wanted to be her friend. I ignored my fears and followed God's lead and emailed her and asked her over for dinner.

She accepted! We have had so much fun getting to know each other. She inspires me in her faith and her devotion to God and her family and friends. We laugh and have such a good time together. She has been such a blessing in my life! I told her the other day how she was the first new friend I've let into my life in so long. It was hard to admit, but I am so glad for this new relationship. I am learning to trust people again and through them, I am learning to trust God even more.
Friends are a blessing and I'm so glad that God is bringing me trustworthy good friends to spend time with!

“I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light.”
― Helen Keller