This week has been a tough one. I've got a place in my heart that I've been burying so deep that I forgot it was even there. God exposed it this week. He bared this place for me to see and for Him to heal. It hurts. A lot. Both the actual wound itself and the realization that it is causing me not to fully trust in Him. The wound is the loss of my husband to cancer. I truly thought that I was past the part where I didn't trust God for the best for me. But as it turns out, I'm still kind of upset that He didn't provide us the miracle that we prayed for so fervently. He revealed this to me on Sunday evening and every. single. day. this week He has been faithful to provide me with examples of why HE IS TRUSTWORTHY.
Times up. But I just wanted to share what He has been doing to bolster my trust. On Monday morning, through the Hello Mornings Abounding Hope Bible study of Job, He showed me that my suffering is not punishment. Seriously. This was so huge for me. Then yesterday we learned of God's tenderness. His tenderness. This isn't a quality I automatically attribute to God. He showed me that tenderness does not equal weakness and gave me a glimpse of the tenderness He feels. Then this morning we studied the armor of God and that He gives us everything we need in Him.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that He has more in store for me over the coming weeks as the Hello Morning email last Monday said that we would be studying Job and trust for the next 6 weeks!
It brings tears to my eyes to think of how He meets me in my place of weakness and hurt and heals my wounds. He waits patiently for me to be ready to accept his healing and grace. He is so faithful!
And I wonder why I have been so tired this week! :)
I'm linking up with Lisa-Jo today for Five Minute Friday.
1. Write for 5 minutes flat for pure unedited love of the written word.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Go buck wild with encouragement for the five minuter who linked up before you.
Thank you for continuing past the 5 minutes to share what God's been showing you. It's always so beautiful to see Him teaching us. Thank you for being brave enough to bare this part of your heart. I'm praying for you today!
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Thank you for your prayers. I am just constantly amazed at the way that He is so gentle in His care for us.
DeleteSorry for your loss.
ReplyDeletePraising God for His healing. :-)
Thank you. He is so faithful!
DeleteHi, I am stopping by from the FMF link up.
ReplyDeleteWow. Your story, your honesty, is so inspiring and encouraging. I'm at a loss for more words than that.
Thank you for sharing this piece of your testimony this week.
*hugs from a sister in Christ*
Thank you for stopping by and for the hugs! :)
DeleteI think our testimonies are one of God's greatest gifts! I love sharing how wonderful He is, even if it is a little scary. :)
Oh exposing raw wounds DOES hurt! It does... praying for the balm of grace to be laid on you by His healing hand. For that is one pain you won't be able to conquer alone...nor should you be expected to. {HUGS} so grateful He knows what losing a loved one feels like...
ReplyDeleteI'm enjoying getting to know you, Vicki! Praying for you.
Thinking of you today, and praying for a deep healing. Love visiting here, Vicki.
ReplyDeleteI can see where you would have a hard time with this. When I was younger I had a hard time with my friend's loss to cancer (mentioned her in last week's FMF) because she had believed in a miracle of healing and then ended up passing. Stuff like that is hard to understand. With a husband it would be even harder. I am glad you are experiencing these positive healing things, and I look forward to discovering more of what God shows you on your journey. Writing is therapeutic!
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